This Isn't Easy.

This is goodbye. 

Maybe just for now. 

And maybe just for a little while.

It's been real and it's been fun. I loved everyone I got to meet through this little website I started a just over two years ago. 

This has been one roller coaster of 18 months. With more downs than ups and quite frankly I'm overwhelmed. Then over the course of a few days it's gotten worse. 

I also keep everything inwards and never tell anyone when I'm hurting. I'm smile through and walk on. 

I've hinted at this in numerous posts. 

I have no real joy in writing. I struggle with "good" ideas. I'm really just doing it as a checklist not a love. 

I need to take some time away and just focus on me. 

Nothing else. No blog. No commitments.

This is scary because it's the first time I've ever done this. 

This is also scary because I'm being vulnerable and I know some people may read this who I really don't want them to read this. 

I'm not a quitter, I'm a fighter but this punch taker is slowly losing her fight. I have never in my life felt like this. One day there will be joy again. Christ is amazing and He has the power.

My close friends in Cincinnati/NKY/Lexington know about my situation. 

But until I feel as though I'm better This Healthy Endeavor is on hiatus. 

Love and In Christ. 

Sweet Potato Black Bean Enchilada Casserole

Yesterday I made this amazingness. 

I doubted about it. Thought long and hard, then realized if it's awesome I only wasted a few bucks because the ingredients are so cheap. 

 I'm thankful I made the leap. 

I love both sweet potatoes and black beans so what could really go wrong? I didn't really know about enchilada sauce since I've really never had an enchilada. But it was worth the risk. 

Brave right? 

A time when bravery proved to be worth it. 

Other foods probably won't ever be worth it. 

Like haggis. I will never be brave enough to try that dish.

I won't lie my second favorite part of all this was the avocado ranch sauce. 

Mmm... reminds of days back in college and going to this placed called Izzi's at EKU with my friend Erica around 2 am for chips and queso plus their avocado ranch sauce. I may have been the person that prompted them to ration the campus on how much little containers they could get. 

Let's just say I loved that stuff before Pinterest made it cool.

Sweet Potato Black Bean Enchilada Casserole
{adapted from Ambitious Kitchen}

Ingredients

• 1 Tablespoon of butter
• 3 cups 1/2-inch-diced, peeled sweet potatoes (about 3 large ones)
• 1/4 cup of water
• 1/2 medium yellow onion, diced
• 1 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1 teaspoon cumin
• 1 teaspoon chili powder
• 1 – 15 ounce can black beans, rinsed and drained
• 8 yellow corn tortillas, cut into thick strips
• 1-15 ounce can red enchilada sauce
• 1 cup reduced-fat colby jack or mexican cheese (or whatever you prefer), divided
• cilantro and low-fat sour cream, for serving

Instructions

1. Melt butter in a skillet.  Add onions and cook until onions have become translucent. Because of using butter some of the onion will brown. If you want to minimize that use oil. I enjoy the carmelized flavoring. 

2. Add diced sweet potatoes, spices and water. Cover and cook for 8-10 minutes. The water will create steam which is cook the potatoes to the perfect tenderness. You can poke it with a fork and it not become mushy. That's perfect. Make sure to stir occasionally. 

3. Once the potatoes are cooked add the black beans, tortillas and enchilada sauce. I added the tortillas a few strips at a time to make sure each piece was mixed in well. 

4. Slowly add in 1/2 cup of the cheese and mixed it in well. Once mixed in sprinkle the remaining cheese on top. 

5. Place skillet under the broiler under cheese has melted and tortillas are becoming golden brown. 

6. Serve! I topped mine with avocado ranch dressing and cilantro. Yum!

Yields 6 servings 

June Goals

How has June started off for you?? I mean we are only three days into the month but mine is already off to a great start. I hope June crawls slow and I can savor every moment. It seems when you want life to crawl by it flies by and the times when you want the blink and they be over, they go on for an eternity. I am not alone in this thinking right? 

This first Monday of June started off like I believe every Monday should. Chilling on a deck, eating pancakes (can you tell they're my favorite breakfast food..I need to get back on oatmeal because it's healthier) and french press coffee. Ahh....french press coffee. This is how coffee should be. 

I had a picture but apparently, communication between my Apple devices is at an all time slow... 

I love summer because of constantly having mornings like these and for another reason...I feel human again. We may get summers off but have you ever been around a teacher during the school year? 

And another misconception teachers don't work in the summer.

W-R-O-N-G

 I've already been in once this summer and will be going in this week many times. Granted it's just to get my classroom together because I'm ridiculous and like to have everything organized and ready before district shut down the end of June. 

Hi, my name is Kimberly and when I have something on my agenda it has to get done right that moment. 

My mom actually slightly made fun of/complimented me the other day by saying she was having a "Kimberly" day. What exactly is a "Kimberly" day I asked? Apparently a "Kimberly" day is when one has numerous items/projects/errands to do and goes non-stop until the sun goes down...me...do that...never.....

Along the lines of "Kimberly" day, let's get to talking about June Goals. 

As I mentioned on Saturday, this summer is all about me. In a good way. A summer of getting back to who I used to be. I also know that I won't ever get back to who I was completely. This happen to shape up and mold us into who we are meant to be. I own these trials as my own. And God breaks us to use us. 

So what do I want to accomplish during the month of June. 

1. Lose 8 lbs. The whole summer goal is 20. Chunking it out month by month is going to help. I'd really like to lose 40 by my birthday in October. Start 27 out on a good note. 
2. Read 2 fun books. Nothing grad school or work related. 
3. Visit 2 new parks in the Cincinnati/Northern Kentucky Area. I just did one yesterday so I can check 1/2 of that off my list.

Just three goals. 

Simple. 

Short. 

Sweet. 

Doable. 

You have any goals for June? 

Hello June.

So I really thought it had been ages since I did one of these.... I did one last week. Is that any indicator as of to how long this week felt to me? I really woke up this morning thinking it was Sunday. Probably because I got off on Thursday. At some point this summer it will be a guarantee that I will lose track of the days. I'll think Tuesday is Wednesday and Thursday is Friday. I just hope I don't forget about grad class. That would be no bueno. 

I don't know about where you live, but this is going to be a dismal Saturday in the Ohio Valley. It's overcast, cool and breezy. Honestly, I don't mind days like these. Sometimes stormy days are just nice days to spend inside, except that won't be my case today. 

No Filter. Just for clarification sakes. 

Speaking of storms, poor Oklahoma. I know they are in tornado alley and all, but can they just get a break for once? 

Onto this coffee date, because who told her parents she'd be there by 8:30...me. Who hasn't even showered yet....me. Scrunch and go hair baby! This is when I love my curls. 

If we were on a coffee date I would tell you..... in a random turn of events I made a huge life decision. It's been an up and down, over and through of emotions. Did I make the right choice? Lots of why God moments. There comes a point though, when you step back and realize it's really going to all be ok. I'm learning more to stop thinking about the future and embrace each DAY not the days to come. 

If we were on a coffee date I would tell you...... that I bought a scale again...I know I know. I really do hate them but in reality they do prove great accountability. I also have a goal of 20 lbs this summer. Don't worry folks that really is doable. I've done the math, it's not extreme. 

If we were on a coffee date I would tell you...... I honestly don't know how vegetarians do it. Maybe I'm just not working hard enough at it but with having gluten and dairy intolerance being vegetarian is HARD! And really not much cheaper because I have to buy gluten free bread and what not. I loathe tofu and really only like beans. I tried it though. I really did. And I do think I will go meatless more often but as far as forever. I miss chicken and bacon...mmmm bacon......moderation right?

If we were on a coffee date I would tell you...... I'm doing a summer of me. Sounds selfish right? Trust me I've been struggling with doing this. I will still pour into people, but I'm going to be saying no quite a bit (something I really do need to learn). After an extremely hard year I need this.  A summer where I devote just to myself and God. I have to re-learn who I am, who God has created me to be. I've pretty much and been beaten down through numerous instances to be a confidenceless puddle of human. Yes I just admitted that for all eyes to see. I'm to the point where I don't see good. I focus on all my wrongs, my flaws, my failures. This isn't how I'm meant to be. This is my summer of restoration. I have an ample amount of new coming into my life soon and I want to be armed and ready. Not this slump of meh. 

Yeah I just got honest, but sometimes putting it out there helps. 

Anyways it's almost 8...good thing I gave myself a 30 minute cushion with the parents :) 

5 Things Friday

I honestly do not remember when my last Five Things Friday was. I guess I have been really busy on Thursday nights because during the school year that is when I write them, unless I wait until evening. It's good to be back with Fridays. I started off by making some raspberry lemon pancakes....uh-mazing. Such a great summer time breakfast. Even though my batter randomly turned blue?? I think it was the baking soda I added perhaps a chemical reaction between all three....side note for next time. 

 Definitely gave me the carb energy I need to go finish conquering my classroom. Yes that's right, today I'm heading back to school but only for a few hours. I just have a few final details to take care of before I move classrooms next weekish. Honestly, I don't know when I'm moving the teacher's room I'm inheriting is retiring and the last thing I want to do is invade. They can take all the time they want. I'll exercise patience..ha if you know me I am the most antsy person ever. Once I know something will happen I want to get it done right then and there. A good yet bad quality. 

Onto the five favorite things I found this week. 

1. Yoga Strike A Pose 

My PT told me I really need to work on my flexibility. So yoga is actually going to be added to my routine this summer. Thankfully, my gym offers a class every Wednesday so I'll be hitting that up. 

2. Monogrammed Boxer Shorts

Confession: Deep down I am a prep. I blame being raised in a town where golf courses reign supreme and students in high school drive Mercedes as first cars. 

3. Magic Pug 

You laughed then watched it again...admit it. 

4. Animal Bomb Photos....

5. Chalkboard Door 

I think if I had this I would rarely forget things. Must do when I own a home. 

25 Randoms to Kick Off Summer

I

am

officially

on

summer

break. 

ahhhh....let that just sink in for a moment. 

Even though I'll be busy this summer the sweet relief that is sleeping in, minimal agendas, pool time is amazing. And I won't lie summer is one of the many reasons why I love teaching. 

Being that I just spent my day closing up shop in my room, dealing with crazy kids yesterday my brain is relatively fried. Oh wait it has been for the past two months. I haven't really tried any new recipes, new workouts (the past month I've been resting), really new anything. So that means this summer it will  happen. 

To ease into the summer season, I'm not going to something in depth. Nope. Not a recipe. Nope. Definitely not a workout (oh wait because let's be honest I haven't been doing that). Lazy I know. Tisk Tisk. To ease in I'm just going to give you 25 completely have nothing to do with each other random facts about me. 

You ready? 

1. I was born 10 days late....sorry Mom. 

2. Green is my favorite color.

3. My right leg is slightly shorter than my left leg. 

4. When I was younger I wanted to be Shamu's trainer

5. I hate mushrooms. I've tried them over and over in hopes but it always fails. 

6. I have a severe nickel allergy. 

7. I'm also slightly allergic to baking soda.

8. Mangos are my favorite fruit. 

9. I can't do a cartwheel or a somersault. 

10. I scored a basket from half court when I was in Kindergarten...what happened to my mad skills? 

11. My family nickname for me in Bo. 

12.  Extremely afraid of spiders. 

13. I refuse to walk over grates. 

14. My favorite season is fall. 

15. Polka dots are my favorite pattern, then paisley.

16. My students call me squirrel because I'm energetic and go off on tangents all the time. 

17. I had my belly button pierced in college.

18. I want to live where I have no backyard neighbors one day. 

19. Nothing beats the smell of a new book. 

20. My favorite cuisines are Mexican and Asian.

21. I'm a morning person hands down. 

22. If I eat ice cream my favorite flavor is regular vanilla. 

23. I've had one speeding ticket in which I thanked the officer because he didn't call it a ticket and I thought I was just getting a warning. 

24. I've never owned a dog but will one day. 

25. At one point I seriously considered joining the Armed Forces. 

Well there is my random. 

Now off to grocery shop...my fridge is horribly empty. 

To My Students

Tomorrow is our last day together..... 

This year has been full of ups and downs, laughs and tears, triumphs and let downs. 

I sit hear the night before the last day of my third year teaching and just can't stop smiling. You have blessed me beyond words this year. I think back to meeting you all in July when you came to Camp Camel. So scared, so nervous, so not ready for the challenges of middle school. We talked lots during "Meet the Teacher". You hounded me with your worries, expectations, and "Is it true middle school teachers don't let you use the restroom?" type of questions. 

I met your parents are opening house two days before school started. Let me tell you, they were just as scared as you were. I tried my best to ease their hearts and comfort them into knowing their loves were truly going to be in good hands. The adjustment wouldn't be easy, but progress will be made. 

But what exactly has this year brought??? 

Here is what I will remember... 

I will always remember....... the secret hand shakes I have with two very dear students. 

I will always remember....... cheering on sports teams together, talking about ESPN, and also do the occasional trash talk to my students who cheer on the opposing team. 

I will always remember........ you asking me if I'd take a bullet or shield you from a tornado and I choked up the answer "Of course I always will"

I will always remember....... Your faces when a Science experiment went as planned and you had the brilliant "A-ha!" moment which just let you begging for more. 

I will always remember....... reading in goofy voices to keep it interesting and fun. 

I will always remember....... the laughs you gave me. And that you always knew when I was fighting back laughter. 

I will always remember...... your goofy one liners and witty comebacks that left me jaw dropped, sometimes aggravated but deep down laughing and thinking man these kids crack me up. 

I will always remember....... your random acts of kindness to me during the year. Somehow you all always knew when I needed some encouragement. 

I will always remember........ our dance parties when we reached a goal. 

I will always remember........ when one you said "I have to believe in me, because Ms. Bell believes in me"...that was a I need to look away because I'm going to cry moment. 

I will always remember........ let's get real there were many moments in which I wanted to pull my hair out and give you the evil "teacher look" and I most likely did. 

Ahh sweet memories... 

Can't wait to make more with you next year....because this teacher is moving on up to 7th Grade!!!! 

You thought you were done with me....hahahahaha.